LOVE, NOT ROMANTIC LOVE, BUT HUMAN LOVE
Many of us were not raised with real love. As we grew up, we didn’t experience genuine affection, care, or emotional support, not because we were unworthy, but because many of us came from toxic backgrounds. Homes filled with tension, silence, survival, and unspoken pain.
But here is the truth:
You must not look like what you went through. Your background should not reflect on your behavior in a negative way. Instead, you should study it, learn from it, and rise above it. What affected us should make us wiser, not bitter.
Every wound has a lesson inside it, if we pay attention.
Some of us grew up with divorced parents. Some of us grew up in homes where the parents were only “managing” themselves because there was no other option. Sadly, we children from those homes sometimes end up repeating the same unhealthy patterns, or even worse, instead of learning from what we witnessed while growing.
Take friendships for example:
That friend who never checks on you unless you do first… don’t hate them.
They weren’t trained with love. They don’t know how to show affection. They didn’t grow up visiting or being visit, they didn’t grown up to witness what real care looks like.
How many of us witnessing our parents exchanging gifts?
Look at leadership today:
Many leaders cannot build strong relationships within their teams.
They struggle with empathy, connection, and trust. Don’t be surprised, it’s a reflection of their background.
You cannot give what you have never been taught.
But this is where responsibility comes in:
Coming from a toxic background should not destroy our life. We can manage it, understand it, and rise above it.
We can choose happiness, healing, and emotional maturity, not only for our own sake, but for the sake of our future children.
It is not our fault that we came from toxic environments,but we will be blamed if our children go through the same thing.
Even if they experience a little of it, we should let it be on a much lower level, so they can eventually erase the cycle completely.
We may not have received love the right way, but we can learn, grow, and give love the right way.
That is how healing starts, generation by generation.
